For years mom’s personal motto has been “Live each day and live it well“. I believe she has lived by her words for most of her days but the last year has been a struggle. Her increasing need to allow for more help with personal and household care finally meant moving. It has been hard for her to let go of her Home in the last two weeks and I know it will be a continuing challenge for some time. But, each day I think she finds more activity and interest to lure her into her new environment.
Night Owl goes Dancing. When mom woke up this morning she said she felt like she had been prancing around all night. She had just told me that she had a good nights sleep so I asked her if she had been prancing in her dreams or in the room. She clearly said “In the room”
Every morning I have been slipping into her apartment just to assure myself that she has made it through the night. Sometimes she is already up and getting into her new routine. These are the mornings I know the transition is going well. If she’s still sleeping I stand there and watch her. I always did this before she moved but now I am beginning to see something new. Reflections of painful slumber are actually being replaced with expressions of inner delight. She smiles in her sleep – her face is softer. It wasn’t like that “before” and I know every morning will not be easy but it is a comfort to see a kind of peacefulness awaken in her.
Back home every morning I would go into her room before she woke up. Often I would quietly stare at the pain in her face and wait for the covers go up and down assuring me that she was still alive. I would feel her expressions with helplessness – wanting to wake her up and out of it but knowing it would all still be there. She would wake up most mornings with something wrong – something that hurt or just a sense of dread. It would usually be noon before she would greet the new day with her “expected” joy. This is changing in her New Home. I don’t want to get too comfortably enthusiastic but for now I believe she feels better than she has for a long time.