Winter Recovery Blog
Notice! Thank you all for keeping an eye on mom.
The posts show below cover the period between November 27 through Valentine’s Day. The Comments option on the posts and pages has been turned off. Please leave your new comments in the form on the Contact Page
Sunrise the first morning mom was home from the hospital.
Sweet Valentine’s Day
Dorothy isn’t the only one with red shoes in Kansas!
This post has now become an extended Valentine’s Day but that’s just fine because I love how mom’s spirit has carried on. There was so much excitement for her on the actual day and it seemed to extend on into the rest of the week. Lenoror was there on Valentine’s Day with a heart shaped box of candy for her and was able to get some great photos of the events of the day. My favorite photo is looking at what mom wore for the special day. She picked a Theme Outfit! A bright right red v-neck sweater worn over a white t-shirt with little red roses and then the best part – Red Shoes.
Jackie delivering Meals on Wheels to mom
I’m happy Leonor was there to also get a picture of Jackie because she was mom’s first favorite Meals on Wheels delivery volunteer. I continue to be amazed with how quickly mom has accepted Meals on Wheels. It was a rather long battle and I din’t think she would jump in right away but now it is a daily activity she looks forward to and for me this includes relief from the prime benefits of Meals on Wheels. Prepared warm meals five days a week and knowing that there will be someone ringing her door bell with a friendly “Hello” and therefore checking in on her. When I talked to her yesterday I realized she had all of the upcoming meals memorized and knew which ones she was looking forward to the most. It’s a big “YES” for the whole thing.
Read MoreGood News – Meals On Wheels
Meals on Wheels
It really happened!! I wrote a grievance letter describing moms situation and those “important people” had a big meeting and decided she should be included in the program even though she still has a car and her drivers license. I don’t think mom will do much driving at all anyway and it’s already been three months since she’s been behind the Big Wheel. I hope this will all settle into something she enjoys and looks forward to. Her only comment was “Oh, I wish you wouldn’t have done that” but I was expecting her reaction. Time will tell.
The next day
I knew the first Meals on Wheels was to arrive today. I called – Mom waited awhile before she brought it up and I was trying my best not to ask. At first she had a lot to talk about-It was Violas last day because she had taken a better job. Mom, the trooper, understood and wished her well. Meanwhile Leonor (Moms favorite angel) had been there, gone to the store for mom and then on her return had a quick chance to meet Viola when their paths finally crossed.
Leonor keeps mom smiling and me posted. Sometimes I feel guilty because it feels like I am talking behind moms back. I guess I am.
Finally mom quietly said “Oh, the food came today”- pause – “it was kind of hot”. I asked if she meant hot with heat or hot with spice, knowing there would have to be something “off” in the beginning. She said “with spice” (I thought -With Meals on Wheels? I doubt it ) so I said “What about the delivery people? Were they nice?” Immediately, “Oh yes, “Jackie” and she only works on Thursdays” I felt a long awaited sigh relief and hope we are on a new path.
Monday UpDate
So far mom has just received one meal and she is already excited about the program. After all of her resistance to just give it a “try” she seems to be full steam ahead and I think she has every meal for the entire month already memorized. Here is the Menu for this month.
Read MoreGood Hair Day
Mom and Leonor showing off her new “perm” thanks to Leonor’s sister Maggie.
Thank you Leonor for the great arrangement and for gettiing mom to and from her appointment. Very Special indeed.
Read MoreAfter Hours
Waiting for Dean & Martha to take us to the airport
January 28 2013 – The day that had to come. What a treasure the last two months have been and now we say our sweet farewells. I’m reminded of a family expression initially voiced by my father and forever carried out by my mother “What can you do but go on!” and here we go again hanging on to the strenght of those words. Mom is a rock and I know she will give everything before her far beyond what I can imagine. I have promised her I will not call her every hour on the hour to see how she’s doing but I’ve grown so accustomed to hovering around her that I’m still not quite sure how I will “back-off”
Sweet Dreams – The evening routine of watching/sleeping TV at the end of each day.
I’m also not sure how this blog will continue but there will be more. Leonor is taking mom to have a permanent on Thursday and I’m anxious to see the photos and post them.
It’s a comfort to know friends and family have followed mom through her amazing recovery. Keep the good energy flowing for her.
Read MoreHome Stretch is here
The Red Beret. It’s a relief to know mom now has unlimited long distance calling now. Her last AT&T bill was $90.
The countdown has begun – I will leave on Monday and we’ve now gone into fast forward with our activities. Cleaning, final organizing and getting the freezer as full as possible with Easy Eats. The whole experience with Meals on Wheels still feels like a thorn in my side and unfortunatly I do not have the resilience that I so admire in mom. I just carry the anger around and remind myself that it’s just not fair. I will file a grievance to Johnson County and that may help but it won’t happen overnight.
I think what is most upsetting is the relief I would have knowing there would be someone knocking on her door five days a week with friendly interaction as well as the hot food.
I continue to be amazed at how well mom is getting along and how content she seems to be most of the time. It will be different when the house is quiet and she is by herself but she is very self sufficient and easily entertained.
Yesterday mom spent over a hour cleaning her bathroom.
Video Following Mom Getting Around the House I’ve spent the last two months watching her out of the corner of my eye and really couldn’t ask for more. She is so careful about everything she does. One of the biggest changes I’ve realized is that she doesn’t want to go out as much – even to the grocery store. This will most likely have an affect on how much she will feel like driving when she’s on her own. I’ll just hold my breath form my distance.
Last week she got new glasses and her – already great vision – is now better. Iin the last week she has gotten back in her erecises and I can see she’s getting a little routine going. The good news is that she enjoys it and admitts she can feel a difference.
Read MoreMeals on Wheels – Parked
Just when the excitement had finally arrived and we were midway through the Meals on Wheels interview it was determined – mom doesn’t qualify. As long as she can drive ( no matter how limited it is ) she is not considered “homebound” and therefore cannot participate in the program. It makes sense but it put mom in an awkward place and I didn’t want her to think she had to quit driving and that she had messed things up because she still wants to drive. So, the paperwork is completed and mom can now see that it is a good service that will be available to her one day if she still wants it. Meanwhile the whole issue of her driving at all is something we still need to “review”
Read MoreEarth Angel
The joy of Leonor – Smiling with mom.
Mom will have an interview with Meals on Wheels on Friday morning. Yes! Her acceptance and even a kind of guarded curiosity of this long-fought battle was greatly encouraged yesterday by the perfect timing of Leonor stopping by the house. Leonor is the perfect Cheer Leader for mom and – Mom loves Sports. Just the mention of “Leonor” always brings a huge smile to her face. Whatever Leonor says is golden. Leonor gave a perfect sales pitch for Meals on Wheels and mom seems to finally be onboard. Our Angel Leonor! I am so grateful for the comfort and care she provides and that she is such an important part of moms life.
I really had my doubts of pulling of the Meals on Wheels and am still not sure it will be the answer but finally we can at least give it a try. Mom worries about wasting food and so do I. I just hope she actually eats it.
I’m seeing a new pattern of communication that mom and I have been experiencing in the last couple of years. It comes from the gradual shifting of mother and daughter roles. Resistance desolved by resilience! At first I hardly recognized mom when she expressed resistance, stubbornness and sometimes even anger. She has always been perfect example of “nice” and never rocked any boat. The epitome of “If you can’t say something nice -don’t say anything at all” This began to change when I started telling her/ suggesting to her what she should do “for her own good” – even if she didn’t agree. That’s when we had our first fight. I saw a side of her I had never seen before. I’m happy to say we have covered a lot of ground in the past couple of years and the last two months seem like a milestone. Now I am seeing a beautiful quality of Resilience that is such a strong part of her character. I’m sure it’s always been there but it has never been so obvious to me. She has a capacity to forget her initial resistance and just pop back into the mainstream of her life with no resentment, grudge or further thoughts of the conflict. In hindsight it certainly makes introducing change into her life easier for me.
Read MorePeeping Mom
Loving the continued good spirit coming from mom. We saw another movie yesterday (Silver Linings Playbook) and then watched some of the Golden Globes. However, I have to say mom’s favorite “film” is the on-going entertainment she gets from looking out her windows to see what the neighbors are doing. She will instantly deny this surveillance although she can easily tell you who is home, who has company and if there is anything slightly different from her well established viewing points throughout the house. This video capture the excitement. Peeping Mom
The continuing wave of well-being may be shattered soon when I announce the arrival of Meals on Wheels. She agreed to try it a couple of weeks ago but I’m expecting some resistance when they actually show up this week to interview her. It just has to work! There don’t seem to be any other home delivery services in the area and this will be 5 days a week with hot food and the added benefit of someone coming to her home.
Mom is always happy to see Viola during her routine visits.
A better success story regarding Home Evasion is Viola the visiting home nurse. I am happy we were able to extend her visits for another month. Her primary job assignment is to take blood once a month but she will stop by once a week to check medications and vitals. This is a relief to me but I’m not sure how long it will be available. The best part is that mom really likes her and this is one more step for mom – getting closer to like and to accept the idea of people coming into her home to help her out.
Read MoreIt’s Showtime
Lost in Delight – One of my favorite expressions. She’s lost in a distant memory but is still clinging to her blue heating pad because she usually has stomach pain in the morning.
We’re on a good roll now. Yesterday we saw the movie Lincoln and it has triggered childhood memories mom has of learning his speeches in school and later visiting historical sites with my father. I checked out 2 books from the library and now she can’t seem to put them dowm. Oh how I love to see this enthusiasm.☀
We have now gone over most of the new routines that will kick in after I leave and she is accepting just about everything. ♡ Yes! I’ll may get “questioned” by some but I’m comfortable with leaving her pretty much alone for a while longer. Not as alone as she was a couple of months ago but still leaving most of the time for her to take care of herself and function on her own. There will be definitely be a lot more outside involvement with scheduled visits, phone calls and remote surveillance (Daylink Monitor). I feel like she is safe and know she is very careful with every move she makes. She also has a clear understanding of what her options are if she doesn’t follow through with her personal and vital responsibilities. My biggest concern is still eating and drinking enough. Perhaps I will make more progress with this before I leave.
Video – Mom in motion (I think you may need to click on it once or twice to see it – sorry) She is in the process of fixing her breakfast and the video shows her moving things from the kitchen table to the counter. It captures her in action and shows how cautiously she moves and how very tiny she is.
Read More