Making the best of it.
Sunday July 28, 2013 We have now gone between Plan A and Plan B so many times that I need to consider what “plans” the rest of the alphabet has to offer. All of the back and forth starts to feel like nowhere but I constantly remind myself that we are actually accomplishing something even if we don’t see it right in front of us.
The moving company rescheduled for August 5 and mom was a little too excited about the delay. However, knowing an actual date somehow grounded her and also made it clear how close “the time” was. For me this extended date sounded good at first but as I adjusted my original moving plans to now include some extra days I realized the extra time was kind of like a breading ground for mom to come up with new worries or hesitations. Now I have decided to cancel the movers and manage on my own – with a lot of help from the neighbors. This will save money and people have been waiting and wanting to help us out. Mom has lived here for forty years and some of the neighbors remember my dad. It’s a comforting feeling of community plus I don’t know many people that knew my dad.
Meals on Wheels leftovers for lunch.
We shifted gears yesterday and got a lot more accomplished than I expected but by the end of the day I could see that too many decisions and too much sorting out and sorting through had taken its toll on mom. She was exhausted and confused about what was going where?, when? and why?. In the evening mom announced that she wasn’t going to move on the 5th because she couldn’t possibly be ready. I responded by saying that I thought we should move on the 3rd or 4th. We still don’t know.
Packing up the silver
The challenge is for us to separate what she will need to take with her and also try to decide what we think she may need later. It’s kind of like downsizing with strings. My hope that she will not feel like she can keep coming back “here” to pick up extra items once she has moved out. I know this will be hard for her since her house is conveniently located only about 4 blocks away. Yesterday she said she thought she should have 2 bottles of Spray & Wash. Instantly I knew what she was thinking. I told her that there was no way she was going to be coming back here to do her laundry. Doing laundry is one of those activities like going shopping for mom. She can just get lost in it – almost as if it were a meditation. I hope she will find a way to bond with the laundry room in her new home.