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It’s Saturday night now and I just left mom on her own for the second night and once again find myself here in an empty house that was “home” for her for over forty years. It is strange. I’m now sleeping in the bed that I have known and loved for my entire life but it has never been my bed. As a child I loved to swing on the four posters, to touch the bumps and curves of the headboard and study the beauty in the detail – It was where the king and queen slept. Something of a magic carpet. Of course mom has cherished and cared for the entire bedroom set for nearly seventy years and its tradition and quality has an unspoken history of its own. This is yet another segment in the Transition. When I left mom tonight she said “Now you are going away to sleep in the bed and I wish it was me. In a lifetime she has rarely said things like this – something that may indicate sorrow. It wasn’t said with pity but with a stoic realization of accepting “the facts” and I am happy she is able to get these words out because I think expressing it helps ease a heavy load. There is sadness but I believe that we can move through it with ease and some kind of speed.
If mom will just slow down long enough for me to take a picture!
Today was filled with newly gained strength and interest in participating in a few of the activities offered. There was a church service and she might have liked it a little more if it would have been offered on Sunday rather than Saturday but she at least gave it a try. A lot of the residents are beginning to approach her and welcome her. They all seem quite fascinated by her petite little body and big appetite. Her sparkle is waiting in the sidelines.
The best news is her surge of energy to take control. She may be ready for the daily exercise classes by next week. It’s a little scary because I’m not putting it past her to soon wheel out the main door, find the car and just drive back home. She is ready and really not the same person I had force to sit on her walker a little over a week ago just to move her into her new place. She’s adjusting but certainly not adjusted. I’ve allerted Lucy that she is a force to be reckoned with and have casually said to mom – this enthusiasm is great but slow down so you don’t fall down.