There have been 2 hot evenings when mom could join me on the patio and watch the birds while waiting for the first fireflies to appear.
take 3 giant steps forward? Our latest move date is another week away but our baby steps are covering ground.
I have maintained a kind of hovering mood ever since I’ve been here. Circulating around mom’s every move in a protective way wanting to believe that she somehow won’t have to take all of this change in a harsh way. I know it’s impossible to hide the reality of it all but maybe it helps. It’s the Mothering my Mother syndrome that I have found myself in.
This will be the week of Un-doing the house and the gradual transition of separating everything mom will need in her new home while keeping her current home looking as much like it’s always looked before she leaves it. I just don’t want the house to look like a sea of clutter and chaos while she tries to stay grounded – in a ground she’s never been on. She is still so fragile and I’ve recently gone back and forth trying to determine if she needs Assisted Living rather than Independent Living. This is a big decision requiring not only trying to add up her current capabilities but also calling the possible shots and timing for the future.
All of this really became a wake up call when I had my first serious look at her new bathroom last weekend and tried to deny the thought that this perfect new place might not work after all. The bathroom suddenly looked like a disaster zone – the classic accident waiting to happen. Especially the shower which even an able-bodied person would have difficulty maneuvering around in. Fortunately I found a shower solution yesterday and will order a small shower/bench with railings that looks perfect.
A picture is worth a thousand words.
The toilet situation has been an ongoing saga for months now and this story wouldn’t be complete without including some of the challenges. Old people need some version of seat belts for their safety. This is a big deal. There are a variety of products available to make sitting safer but they are mostly One-Size-Fits-All and don’t really accommodate an 80 pound person with very little physical strength to just hold on. In the last couple of months mom and I have narrowed it down to two versions. But, I have altered the one that seems to work best so many times that now it’s not reasonable to recreate the setup in her new bathroom. Now I hope that the in-house maintenance man will find a way to enhance the “look” of my version.
Materials used:
• Gray tape
• White shoelaces
• Adjustable suitcase belt
• not shown – Twine tied between the right toilet arm to the toilet paper holder to make the connection stronger.