Getting back to Nancy Railsback

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Nancy Railsback

Behind the scenes lies what’s far more important to me than the blog I kept. It’s the treasure I have in my life because I was able to spend such extended and intimate time with my mother. I spent more one-on-one time with her than any other time in my life. Growing up I was lucky enough to have a mother I was  very close to and had fun with. But, I was never alone with her for more than a few hours. In her final years we spent hours, days and weeks together and a lot of the time it was just the two of us. I love my memories of spending time “at home” and the silence that was always present. We bonded deeper and grew to know each other more honestly than possible at any other time.  In the context of my family — I spent twenty years believing I knew her well. I loved her and had no reason to search deeper for “more” of her. In hindsight I had a limited idea of what she was like when she grew up — before she met my father. It was that person that came back to life when my father died and that person who had the strength to thrive and survive until the age of 97. I cherish the opportunity I had to know the mother I never knew. There was so much more of “her” that I could only discover in our last years spent so closely together. Sometimes we would sit at the table after dinner with a glass of wine and just talk. I could hold my phone up and she had no idea I was video tapping our conversations. Usually just one question was enough to get her going. She usually did most of the talking and loved sharing stories of her childhood and the fun she had. It changed once she married. I do believe that mom and dad had a long and happy marriage and I am grateful for that.