Christmas 2011
Sending Christmas cards
Mom’s dedication to sending Christmas cards always amazed me. The most touching part was the additional time she took to write a personal message in each card. Last Christmas was the first time she did not send any cards. She had every intention but it never happened. I feel like that must have been a subtle message to her distant friends that things were changing.
In hindsight I think sending cards was one of her favorite Christmas traditions. Each year it was a beautiful ritual for me to witness. She always followed the same procedure. First she would re-read the card she received from the year before — she always saved her cards. She would then pause and reflect on some memory of that person or that family’s life before she started her message. Her “note” usually filled the entire inside of each card. When she finished each card she would say “Oh, I just ramble on about nothing” and seal the envelope. Her penmanship was a work of art.
The lost art of Penmanship
Memories came flooding in to me this Christmas and I was unprepared for the sadness attached. Somehow I thought I would be just fine with Christmas. Instead I kept experiencing new feelings about old and ordinary things. I now realize a need for new definitions in parts of my life. Unexpected reactions to things like seeing Mom’s handwriting can be suddenly amplified and appreciated even more. I find it all around me – the little wooden box of her favorite recipes, the letters and cards from her I have saved, her detailed descriptions on the back of photographs. Her written voice speaks a new language to me.
My reflection on her handwriting and dedication to send Christmas cards is one of many empty footsteps she has left for me to step into. They offer possibilities for me to repeat her goodness. I am challenged to give it a try — the only cards I send this year were to her friends and neighbors. She would be pleased about that.
More empty footsteps are ahead on my new path. I am grateful for the inspiration she left for me to follow.