I have let days go by without writing anything because most of my thoughts have been disappointing and even scary at times. Sometimes mom hits periods that look like new bottoms and I have a hard time knowing how serious the situation actually is. I have to constantly keep in mind that she is going through a “Temporary Phase” – a huge lifestyle change. Do I respond to these alarms as merely a part of this adjustment period and ride with it – or, what if something critical is happening and I should call 911. ??? Usually there is no middle ground.
Sometimes my heart soars and sometimes or my heart sinks. It feels like a roller coaster ride and I realize we’ve already bought the ticket.
A sweet moment Monday at 4 o’clock in the afternoon I had a wheelchair in the room and was on the verge of taking mom to Emergency. I knew if she was admitted to the hospital chances were strong that she would be kept there for a long time. I reviewed her symptoms and decided they weren’t life threatening. If she still felt this way in the middle of the night I could take her then. At least I had learned that there is a wheelchair available for the residents. She made it throughout the night with help from a strong pain pill and by four o’clock the next afternoon she felt like a new person. I took her for a first visit to the Ice Cream Parlor and several of the men already knew her name and were anxious to talk to her. She began to sparkle. This was better than the ice cream. And to top that off in the evening she wanted to put on lipstick before going to dinner and asked me if I could bring her black beads from home to wear the next day.
The sliding back door looks out on a quiet view of green grass, trees and rabbits.
Independent Living Redefined Last night I realized that not only have I spent every night with mom but there has also not been a time span of more than three hours when she has been alone. This is hardly Independent Living and it is my hope that I can now start to back off. I continue to be happy with her living space and really appreciate the separate back entrance. Most of the apartments do not have access to lawn area and all visitors must go through the main entrance, sign in and find their way through two long corridors to finally get to the front door. I appreciate the security but am happy that her friends can just come to the back door.
She has breakfast in her room every morning and has been going downstairs for dinner most of the time. I feel like Lucy and Ana are getting to know her and she is a lot more comfortable letting them take over and help her out. The last two mornings she made her bed on her own and today she washed her lunch dishes. For me this is a sign of her getting back into her regular routine from “before” and helps me see that she is getting settled. I still hold my breath and cross my fingers.